he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
