i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
