So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Couch. On fire.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
