what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
did i just pee glitter
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
