I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i already hear my dad disowning me
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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