Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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