i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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