Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
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