his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
I'm really busy with my period
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