You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
