The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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