its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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