i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
