if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I think people are normalizing furries
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
