oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
