when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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