I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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