Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
