So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Just puked most of my soul out..
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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