: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
