we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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