Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
