So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
