Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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