she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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