I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I've blown a few things in my day
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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