I want to have your abortion
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
