I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
