ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
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