We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
