Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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