I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Randomize
