If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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