Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
