if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
We need to get me chipped asap
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
