Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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