I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
