we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Randomize
