Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
