Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Randomize
