I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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