mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
