I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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