Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
