remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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