Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
