Don't you send me to vm
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
