it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
