strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
