you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
It's official drugs can't kill me
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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